The Witch’s Bedtable

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[Children may need to escape mentally and emotionally from situations they cannot master.] But the person who would be killed, the “I” in the “pain is big and I am small” belief, is an idea, a memory, an image of yourself left over from childhood. You already felt destroyed. That was then. You will never be that small again. You are not dependent on someone else to hold you, to love you so that you can continue breathing.

Staying [present in the moment] requires awareness of the desire to bolt. Of the stories [that] you are telling yourself about the need to bolt. Staying means recognizing that when you want to bolt you are living in the past. You are taking yourself to be someone who no longer exits. Staying [present in the moment] requires being curious about who you actually are when you don’t take yourself to be a collection of memories. When you don’t infer your existence from replaying what happened to you, when you don’t take yourself to be the girl [whom] your mother/father/brother/teacher/lover didn’t see or adore. When you sense yourself directly, immediately, right now, without preconception, who are you?

When you stay [present in the moment], you question what you’ve never questioned: the you [that] you take yourself to be. The you who is not your past, not your habits, not your compulsions. Anything becomes possible.

~ Women, Food, and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything by Geneen Roth

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