We’re winning! We’re winning bigly! It’s YUUUGGGEEE the winning! We’re getting tired of winning!
How has so-called President Trump failed? Let me count (some of) the ways.
The big five promises for the first 100 days were:
- Repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare)
- Build a border wall and make Mexico pay for it
- Suspend immigration from terrorist-prone areas
- Stop the Trans Pacific Partnership trade deal
- Guarantee six weeks of paid MATERNITY (not parental) leave
Trumpcare was a total fail. It turns out, his idiot supporters love their health care plans – they just don’t want it named for the black guy. Paul Ryan introduced his draconian American Health Care Act, and sure enough, they went apeshit. It was reminiscent of this foolishness, from a few years back:
So-called President Trump, desperate for a win, raged and shouted and threatened and threw a tantrum and blamed everyone other than Ronald Reagan’s ghost and that creepy Easter Bunny they hired for the White House egg roll (yet another fail) to no avail. Apparently, the Republicans have no idea how whipping votes works, so Ryan had to cancel.
The Republicans regrouped and, trying to appease the Freedom Caucus (something they should’ve already realized is a losing proposition), came up with a WORSE plan. The cherry on the AHCA v. 2 shit sundae was to announce that *Congress* would get to keep *their* Obamacare – it’s just everyone else that would get thrown off and left to die. That is not going over well, so once again, vote canceled.
The wall. Here’s the thing: all thinking people knew from the start that the whole wall deal was bullshit. Unfortunately, the Venn diagram of “Trump supporters” and “thinking people” looks like this:
Even Congressional Republicans know it’s fucking ridiculous. So Trump hatches the brilliant plan to threaten a government shutdown if he doesn’t get his way on funding, and blame the Democrats if the government shuts down. Even Congressional Republicans know THAT’s fucking ridiculous, too. With control over BOTH the legislative AND executive branches, a shutdown would be 100% on them, and they know it. Remind me: how’d that turn out for Newt Gingrich? Ted Cruz?
is working on just approved a bipartisan continuing resolution and is working on a longer term spending plan right now, and there’s still no money for Donny’s wall. Maybe he should go back to Mexico with his cap in his hand? At least he’d be comfortable and familiar with the inevitable failure.
Suspend immigration. Let’s talk about Executive Orders for a minute. I’m old enough to remember when the GOP loudly proclaimed that EOs were a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad usurpation of power by the President. But somehow, when their guy is in the White House, they’re AWESOME!11!!!1!
Oh wait – I know this one! EOs are only bad when a black guy signs them!
Of course, Trump keeps forgetting that we have THREE branches of government – that pesky judiciary! – and judges have actually READ the Constitution. He keeps signing ’em, they keep overturning ’em. Muslim ban? Overturned. Muslim ban the sequel, Dumb and Dumber? Overturned. Yanking funding from sanctuary cities? Overturned. Fail. Fail. Fail.
Trade deals. OK, so-called President Trump did pull out of TPP. But (and I’m sorry to be the one to have to tell you this Berniebros) that’s cutting off your nose to spite your face. For two years, Trump raged across the campaign trail about China. Pulling out of TPP is tantamount to ceding all control over and influence on Pacific rim trade to China. Oops.
Meanwhile, I know Donny wants to be a BIG BOY and be able to shout NO and have everyone listen to him, but I’d hate to be the person who draws the daily short straw in the administration and has to explain to him the stupidity of his latest idea about trade. First poor President Xi had to explain what currency manipulation is so Donny could understand that China’s not doing it and hasn’t for several years (and really, making the visitor participate in the daily circular firing squad is NOT NICE).
Then so-called Agriculture Secretary Perdue drew the short straw and had to create pictures to demonstrate why pulling out of NAFTA unilaterally is a bad idea.
I wonder who got stuck with explaining to Trump why he can’t just cancel our trade deal with South Korea today?
Six weeks of paid maternity leave. Notice it’s just for mothers, and also notice that Trump doesn’t give two shits about this in either case. It was only in there as a smokescreen to protect Daughter-Wife Ivanka’s purported “centrist” cred. Which, as John Oliver has pointed out, is based on precisely ZERO evidence:
Trump’s budget proposal? Fail. Ludicrous fail.
Trump’s tax reform proposal? Fail. In fact, let me quote Eugene Robinson’s column in today’s Washington Post on that account:
Even the conservative Tax Foundation, which has rarely seen a tax cut it didn’t like, foresees at least a $2 trillion gap.
But wait! I thought deficits were bad? Oh right – black guy thing again.
Economic growth? The Q1 2017 numbers were just released, and it was the slowest quarter for growth in over three years. Fail.
Donny’s VOICE hotline? You should definitely, definitely NOT call the hotline for crimes committed by illegal aliens to recount the plot of old Twilight Zone or X Files episodes. Or of Men In Black. Or the fact that ET was flying without a pilot’s license. Or to bitch about the alternative timeline created by the Star Trek reboot. Definitely do not call 1-855-48-VOICE (1-855-488-6423) to do that.
Need help keeping track of all of so-called President Trump’s failures? I understand – he’s failing so much and so often, it’s really hard to keep up. Fortunately, Pulitzer-prize winning, nonpartisan, fact-checking organization PolitiFact has a Trump-O-Meter that can help you out. They’re awesome!
Although, as my spouse points out, were he polled about whether he approves of the job so-called President Trump is doing so far, he’s not sure how he’d answer. Since he’s against everything Trump is for, my spouse is very pleased by the fact that Trump’s been an utter and complete failure to date. (I tell him he’s parsing language too closely and he should just express his disapproval in the strongest terms possible, but that’s what you get with someone as logical as he is.)
In conclusion, what with all the failing and whatnot:
All I can say is: NO SHIT, SHERLOCK.
Header image found: Everywhere. Seriously. So-called President Trump is a total mess (but you already knew that).
Government hands image found at: RWNJ,org
Venn diagram image found at: http://www.learningelectronics.net/vol_4/chpt_8/2.html
Trump quote found at: Reuters Twitter account
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