Goddamn It, Will This Fucking Zombie Bill Just DIE, Already?

NOTLD

Previously on “Please, Republicans, Don’t Kill Millions of Americans By Taking Away Their Access to Health Care”:

The House of Republicans, after seven years of “repeal Obamacare” show votes, finally had to actually, you know, COME UP WITH A DAMN ALTERNATIVE BILL. Way to procrastinate, guys. It was the AHCA and it was, according to so-called President Trump “mean” (and may I never quote him again), kicking 24 million people off their health insurance.

So #TheResistance rallied. We marched. We called. We emailed. We protested..

And we thought we killed the AHCA. We patted each other on the back for our hard work and moved on to the next Trumpocalypse. Betsy DeVos. Deporting DREAMers – no, wait, they can stay, but their parents are screwed. Russiagate. The travel ban. Trump’s disastrous international trips. Comey. Pick your poison.

But wait! Paul Ryan managed to shove through his deeply unpopular bill with a disingenuous “the Senate will fix it” promise.

Then Mitch McConnell came up with the, “you think YOUR bill is bad? hold my beer!” BCRA in closed door meetings with 12 other old white guys. Not only were no public hearings held and no Democrats consulted, he even excluded most of his own damn caucus.

McConnell then tried to shove BCRA through the Senate before the July 4th recess – before anyone really had a chance to read it or the CBO had a chance to tell us exactly how many millions of our fellow citizens would lose their insurance coverage as a result. Thankfully, he failed, and constituents around the country stalked their cowardly, no-town-hall-meeting-for-you Senators to their local Independence Day parades while disability rights activists got arrested by the dozens staging sit-ins at local Congressional offices.

The CBO score came out: 22 million citizens would lose their health insurance. McConnell tried again to schedule a vote and threatened to take away everyone’s birthdays (aka, the annual August Senate recess)  if the Senate didn’t pass it – remember, as a budget reconciliation (hence the name), which only requires 51 votes. In other words, two Republican Senators could defect and Mitch could still win, by getting so-called Vice President Pence to cast the tie-breaker.

#TheResistance stepped up the calls, the rallies, the visits, the sit-ins, the die-ins, the protests, the marches, the emails…

Then! A ray of light!

Senators Lee (R-UT) and Moran (R-KS) unexpectedly joined Senators Collins (R-ME) and Paul (R-KY) and said they wouldn’t even vote to allow the Senate bill onto the floor for debate.

For good measure, Senators Collins, Murkowski (R-AK), and Capito (R-WV) basically said, “Mitch, don’t even THINK about repeal only” (CBO score: 32 million citizens would lose their insurance) and tanked what we all thought was the last of last ditches attempt: repeal only, something something something later on, IOU: One Health Care Bill.

And we all figured it was really and truly dead this time. And there was much rejoicing.  Hecate even congratulated all of us on our good work stopping the slow-motion disaster that is Trumpcare.

But every time we think we’ve killed off the bastard, it comes back from the grave, like Jason in Friday the 13th: Oh My God, Will This Franchise Ever End?

Now Mitch McConnell has scheduled a health care vote – nobody seems to know on what, exactly – for next Tuesday, July 25.

Why?

Near as I can tell, because lil’ Donny Temper Tantrum took a minute out of playing with his GREAT BIG RED firetruck and firing Sean Spicer to pitch a fit about health care. Not that he knows thing one about either of the bills – or, let’s be serious, the Affordable Care Act, either – but when he says “vote!” he expects McConnell to jump to it. Even though no one knows what they’re voting on. Even though it seems wildly improbable that Mitch will be able to marshal 51 votes, particularly with Senator McCain still recovering from his surgery and absorbing his cancer diagnosis at home in Arizona. Even though the whole thing is a dumpster fire on top of a clusterfuck crossed with an own goal times infinity.

HOWEVER.

That means that AHCA/BCRA/This Space For Rent/Shitburger Bill To Be Determined At A Later Date is not dead, just like Jason is NEVER EVER REALLY DEAD.

You know what to do. Call. Email. Sit-in. Die-in. March. Rally. Protest.

LOTS of cities are holding rallies and other events on Saturday, July 29. Find out more and register for something in your area – or sign up to host an event! – at ourlivesontheline.org.

Edited to add: Andy Slavitt, ACA and health policy expert, just posted a tweet storm on this topic. You need to check out the whole thing, but here’s the related tweet he pinned:

Screen Shot 2017-07-21 at 5.07.14 PM

Image from zombie film classic Night of the Living Dead found here.

Like what you read? Follow me on Twitter @MrsWhatsit1

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