100 Days of Fail


We’re winning! We’re winning bigly! It’s YUUUGGGEEE the winning! We’re getting tired of winning!

Yeah, no.

How has so-called President Trump failed? Let me count (some of) the ways.

The big five promises for the first 100 days were:

  1. Repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare)
  2. Build a border wall and make Mexico pay for it
  3. Suspend immigration from terrorist-prone areas
  4. Stop the Trans Pacific Partnership trade deal
  5. Guarantee six weeks of paid MATERNITY (not parental) leave

Trumpcare was a total fail. It turns out, his idiot supporters love their health care plans – they just don’t want it named for the black guy. Paul Ryan introduced his draconian American Health Care Act, and sure enough, they went apeshit. It was reminiscent of this foolishness, from a few years back:


So-called President Trump, desperate for a win, raged and shouted and threatened and threw a tantrum and blamed everyone other than Ronald Reagan’s ghost and that creepy Easter Bunny they hired for the White House egg roll (yet another fail) to no avail. Apparently, the Republicans have no idea how whipping votes works, so Ryan had to cancel.

The Republicans regrouped and, trying to appease the Freedom Caucus (something they should’ve already realized is a losing proposition), came up with a WORSE plan. The cherry on the AHCA v. 2 shit sundae was to announce that *Congress* would get to keep *their* Obamacare – it’s just everyone else that would get thrown off and left to die. That is not going over well, so once again, vote canceled.

The wall. Here’s the thing: all thinking people knew from the start that the whole wall deal was bullshit. Unfortunately, the Venn diagram of “Trump supporters” and “thinking people” looks like this:


Even Congressional Republicans know it’s fucking ridiculous. So Trump hatches the brilliant plan to threaten a government shutdown if he doesn’t get his way on funding, and blame the Democrats if the government shuts down. Even Congressional Republicans know THAT’s fucking ridiculous, too. With control over BOTH the legislative AND executive branches, a shutdown would be 100% on them, and they know it. Remind me: how’d that turn out for Newt Gingrich? Ted Cruz?

Result? Congress is working on just approved a bipartisan continuing resolution and is working on a longer term spending plan right now, and there’s still no money for Donny’s wall. Maybe he should go back to Mexico with his cap in his hand? At least he’d be comfortable and familiar with the inevitable failure.

Suspend immigration. Let’s talk about Executive Orders for a minute. I’m old enough to remember when the GOP loudly proclaimed that EOs were a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad usurpation of power by the President. But somehow, when their guy is in the White House, they’re AWESOME!11!!!1!

Oh wait – I know this one! EOs are only bad when a black guy signs them!

Of course, Trump keeps forgetting that we have THREE branches of government – that pesky judiciary! – and judges have actually READ the Constitution. He keeps signing ’em, they keep overturning ’em. Muslim ban? Overturned. Muslim ban the sequel, Dumb and Dumber? Overturned. Yanking funding from sanctuary cities? Overturned. Fail. Fail. Fail.

Trade deals. OK, so-called President Trump did pull out of TPP. But (and I’m sorry to be the one to have to tell you this Berniebros) that’s cutting off your nose to spite your face. For two years, Trump raged across the campaign trail about China. Pulling out of TPP is tantamount to ceding all control over and influence on Pacific rim trade to China. Oops.

Meanwhile, I know Donny wants to be a BIG BOY and be able to shout NO and have everyone listen to him, but I’d hate to be the person who draws the daily short straw in the administration and has to explain to him the stupidity of his latest idea about trade. First poor President Xi had to explain what currency manipulation is so Donny could understand that China’s not doing it and hasn’t for several years (and really, making the visitor participate in the daily circular firing squad is NOT NICE).

Then so-called Agriculture Secretary Perdue drew the short straw and had to create pictures to demonstrate why pulling out of NAFTA unilaterally is a bad idea.

I wonder who got stuck with explaining to Trump why he can’t just cancel our trade deal with South Korea today?

Six weeks of paid maternity leave. Notice it’s just for mothers, and also notice that Trump doesn’t give two shits about this in either case. It was only in there as a smokescreen to protect Daughter-Wife Ivanka’s purported “centrist” cred. Which, as John Oliver has pointed out, is based on precisely ZERO evidence:

Trump’s budget proposal? Fail. Ludicrous fail.

Trump’s tax reform proposal? Fail. In fact, let me quote Eugene Robinson’s column in today’s Washington Post on that account:

Even the conservative Tax Foundation, which has rarely seen a tax cut it didn’t like, foresees at least a $2 trillion gap.

But wait! I thought deficits were bad? Oh right – black guy thing again.

Economic growth? The Q1 2017 numbers were just released, and it was the slowest quarter for growth in over three years. Fail.

Donny’s VOICE hotline? You should definitely, definitely NOT call the hotline for crimes committed by illegal aliens to recount the plot of old Twilight Zone or X Files episodes. Or of Men In Black. Or the fact that ET was flying without a pilot’s license. Or to bitch about the alternative timeline created by the Star Trek reboot. Definitely do not call 1-855-48-VOICE  (1-855-488-6423) to do that.

Need help keeping track of all of so-called President Trump’s failures? I understand – he’s failing so much and so often, it’s really hard to keep up. Fortunately, Pulitzer-prize winning, nonpartisan, fact-checking organization PolitiFact has a Trump-O-Meter that can help you out. They’re awesome!

Although, as my spouse points out, were he polled about whether he approves of the job so-called President Trump is doing so far, he’s not sure how he’d answer. Since he’s against everything Trump is for, my spouse is very pleased by the fact that Trump’s been an utter and complete failure to date. (I tell him he’s parsing language too closely and he should just express his disapproval in the strongest terms possible, but that’s what you get with someone as logical as he is.)

In conclusion, what with all the failing and whatnot:

Screen Shot 2017-04-28 at 9.46.04 AM

All I can say is: NO SHIT, SHERLOCK.

Header image found: Everywhere. Seriously. So-called President Trump is a total mess (but you already knew that).

Government hands image found at: RWNJ,org

Venn diagram image found at: http://www.learningelectronics.net/vol_4/chpt_8/2.html

Trump quote found at: Reuters Twitter account

Words for Wednesday


The Enkindled Spring

~ D.H. Lawrence

This spring as it comes bursts up in bonfires green,
Wild puffing of emerald trees, and flame-filled bushes,
Thorn-blossom lifting in wreaths of smoke between
Where the wood fumes up and the watery, flickering rushes.

I am amazed at this spring, this conflagration 
Of green fires lit on the soil of the earth, this blaze
Of growing, and sparks that puff in wild gyration,
Faces of people streaming across my gaze.

And I, what fountain of fire am I among
This leaping combustion of spring? My spirit is tossed
About like a shadow buffeted in the throng
Of flames, a shadow that’s gone astray, and is lost.

Picture found here.

It’s Just the Old Gods Getting Older

It’s fashionable these days to poo-poo any suggestion that Pagan traditions have passed down, unbroken, from Neolithic times until today.  And, fair enough, things change.  But I will tell you this for sure:  Every Beltane night, every Beltane night, from then until now, there have been people out in the fields and woods, doing their best to make the Earth fruitful, and fertile, and fecund.

And I will tell you this, for sure, as well.  This year, in the midst of madness, on the eve of war, in this time of tyranny, we all need to bring in Beltane as if it mattered.  Because it does.  This year, go forth and Beltane as you have never Beltaned before.

A Witch’s job is to turn the Wheel.  And round and round the Wheel must turn.

Monday at the Movies

Sunday Ballet Blogging

The Magical Battle for America 4/22/17

Thank you so much to everyone who has been doing these workings.  If you’re just joining us, you may want to go back through some of the early posts about this project in order to orient yourself.  Now’s probably a good time to remind everyone to check/refresh the wards on your home or wherever you do this work.  Be sure that you’re rested, grounded, and in a comfortable position.

Today, we’re going to work with some American Tricksters.

America is a country rich in Tricksters.  From Coyote and Crow, to Pecos Pete, to Brer Rabbit, to Tom Sawyer, to Bugs Bunny, Tweety, and Felix the Cat, to Grouch Marx, to the Three Stooges, to Red Skelton, to Eloise, to Harriet the Spy, to Pippi Longstocking, to Bart Simpson, to Matilda, we seem to grow Tricksters as thick and as fast as we grow dandelions.  You can probably think of other Tricksters, perhaps some who are special to you or upon whom you have called before.

One of the skills of our current foes is an ability to create chaos, to do one unbelievable thing after another, to keep us all off guard.  Today, we’re going to work with our own Tricksters to counter that.



Ground and center.  Cast a circle.

Anchor yourself firmly to your landbase.  Notice a small detail that will call you back when this working is finished.


As you move astrally to our American plain on the astral plane, you can see again the safe hillock where you do your work.  You can see the five giant banners, shining in the sky:  Walden Pond, the Underground Railroad, the Cowboy, the Salmon, and Lady Liberty.  Do they seem more defined since we began our work?  Do they have anything special to tell you this week?

Stand and look around you.  Call across the plain, in whatever way seems best to you, to that innately American spirit of fun, silliness, contrariness, and clever misdirection personified in our many Tricksters.  Ask one of two of them who are interested in this work to come to you.

Who answers?

Make an offering to the Tricksters.  Maybe you can tell them a joke or give them a pun.  Maybe you can show them the whoopee cushion that you saved up to buy when you were eight.  Maybe you can demonstrate some sleight-of-hand or pull up a youtube that always makes you laugh.  Maybe you can give them the tale of the time you pulled off a great practical joke or when someone did that to you.

Travel now on the astral with the Tricksters to the place where our enemies are doing the most harm.  Maybe to a bot farm, where they keep inserting fake news and fake discussions into social medial.  Maybe to the White House, where a buffoon sits in our sanctum sanctorum, the Oval Office, and makes a mockery of our democratic traditions.  Maybe to Wall Street, where fools’ gold entices people to destroy their own environment.  What other places appear before you?

As you stand in that place, call in the Tricksers.  Invite them to do their best.  See them creating chaos and uncertainty for those who would harm America.  They work on a landbase already illuminated with sunlight, washed clean with rain, purified with fire.  They may go a bit wild!  Can you breathe into their madness and see the order behind it?  Can you help them to make America’s foes look foolish, even to themselves?  Right now, during Mercury Retrograde, is a perfect time to ask the Tricksters to confuse the communications of those who want to destroy the environment, foster war, and sow hatred of immigrants, people of color, and strong women.  The Tricksters can confuse their travel plans, broadcast their secrets to the public, undo their schemes.  The Tricksters can reveal what our foes would keep hidden.

You are an American Witch and you can use the forces of deception, silliness, and trickery to protect America.  You both direct and give strength to this most American of forces.

Now, slowly, see the Tricksters getting tired.  Their work is done.  Invite them back to your secure hillock.  Again, make an offering to them.  Cookies and punch.  A funny book from the library.  Time to sit and watch a puppet show.  An old Soupy Sales routine or Dick van Dyke doing slapstick.  Praise them.  Thank them for their assistance.  And then, firmly, dismiss them back into America’s storehouse of archetypes, the astral American lodge of avatars, myths, and heras.  Watch carefully; make sure they go safely home.

And, now, sit again on your comfortable hillock.  Breathe in and feel the prairie air calming you, untangling any nerves, filling you with peace, order, control.  You will face the coming storm of Trump’s and Putin’s tricks much more calmly.  So will your fellow citizens.  We will see through the ruses and rogery, through the subterfuge and shams.  We will watch while America’s foes fall victim to confusion, chaos, trickery, missed flights, misdirected emails, and poorly-timed jokes.


Return to your own body, your own landbase.  Open your eyes.  Rub your face, move your arms and legs.  Notice the detail you  selected to call you back from the astral.  Drink some strong tea.  If you like, have something to eat, maybe an oatmeal cookie or blueberry yogurt.

During the course of this week, you may want to visit the bannered prairie several times in order to strengthen its presence on the astral.  You may want to repeat this working several times.  You may want to journal about it.  Are you inspired to make any art?  Can you sit beside a warm fire, or light incense, or stare into a candle?   What actions are you inspired to take for the Resistance?  If you’re willing, please share in comments what happened and how this working



Are You Marching?

static1.squarespace.comThese days it can be easy to get all protested out. Particularly if you live in or near a major city, there are rallies and protests and marches it seems like every day, and certainly every weekend. Hey, protest is the new brunch, right?

And we just *had* a big march last weekend – the Tax March – and there’s another big march coming up *next* weekend – the People’s Climate March.

“Mrs. Whatsit!” you cry. “Can’t I please have at least one weekend off? If I don’t weed soon, I won’t be able to find my front door, and I have one more day before I’m going to be wearing my pajamas – or my last Halloween costume – to work!”

I hear you, but if you can, it’s really important to show up for the March For Science tomorrow, Saturday, March 22.

Science is not a partisan issue, but it *is* political, particularly lately.

Yes, we all know that so-called President Trump’s budget is not going to pass. Even the dipshit Freedom Caucus isn’t going to approve all his draconian cuts, and they love them some draconian cuts, let me tell you.

But his plan to cut 30% from the EPA’s budget is not going away. Because one of the few things it seems like all the Republicans can actually agree on these days is “Screw the planet! We want to kill every environmental regulation we can, and we don’t care if it causes asthma or cancer or decimates wetlands or kills endangered species, or, you know, DESTROYS OUR ABILITY TO SURVIVE AS HUMANS ON THIS PLANET due to climate change. YAY POLLUTION!”

This bunch of young-earth, creationist, heartbeat-bill, reality-challenged nincompoops is doing everything in their power to kick scientists out of national decision-making and to shape scientific results according to their desired political ends (aka, “I don’t care about your damn facts – I just want rationalizations for what I already believe, no matter how asinine it is”).

Which is why it’s important that we march. Science matters. Facts are a thing, and not, as some would have you believe, a liberal conspiracy. Research that helps us understand how the world and the cosmos work is worthy of support. Human-caused climate change is happening, and it’s the biggest collective threat humanity faces, more that ISIL or economic inequality or right-wing nationalist political movements or Ebola or the rapidly approaching post-antibiotic era or any of the -isms we can name. Science is the only way we can figure out how to halt it and maybe even reverse some of the damage that’s already been done.

As the march website says:

The March for Science champions robustly funded and publicly communicated science as a pillar of human freedom and prosperity. We unite as a diverse, nonpartisan group to call for science that upholds the common good and for political leaders and policy makers to enact evidence based policies in the public interest.

The main march is in Washington, DC, but there are satellite marches in over 600 locations worldwide. Maybe there’s one near you?

Come out and celebrate science with scientists and the science-supporting public – and me (and my secret “chief curiosity correspondent” crush Emily Graslie – well, at least if you’ll be in Chicago).

Image found here.