Three. Women. EVERY. Day.


In the midst of the new and traditional media coverage of the Stephon Clark shooting in Sacramento, I saw YET ANOTHER tweet about a woman killed by her intimate partner.

Screen Shot 2018-04-05 at 10.37.19 PM

Kiara Brown’s murder did not get quite the volume of coverage Stephon Clark’s has.

(I am not trying to minimize police violence against people of color. Even taking the most generous interpretation towards the Sacramento police’s story and granting them credit they have not earned, since when is death an appropriate penalty for simple breaking and entering? And no, I am not saying that Stephon Clark was breaking and entering. I’m saying that’s the bullshit story the police are promulgating, and that somehow, they mistook his cellphone for a gun. And even taking that all at face value, their response was egregious.)

I wish we could march and protest for Kiara for weeks, and draw national attention to her life and her family’s loss. But we can’t. Because one nameless woman had already been killed on Monday, April 2, before Kiara, and one more would be killed before the day ended. And the next day, Tuesday, April 3, the cycle would repeat. Breakfast? A woman killed. Lunch? A woman killed. Dinner? A woman killed. Wednesday, April 4? Same. Three women. Killed. EVERY DAY.

I wish we could “Say their names” but we can’t, because women are killed by men so frequently that there’s no possible way to keep up.

Today is the 96th day of 2018. That means that by the end of today, 288 women so far this year will have been killed by men who claimed to love them.

“Woke” social media is paying quite a lot of attention to violence against trans people, and that’s a good thing. The trans community is vulnerable to violence and abuse. I’m not trying to minimize that either. Being trans can be downright dangerous. And 2017 was the worst year recorded for violence against trans people. 27 were killed.

Do you know how many women were murdered by their intimate partners in 2017? I don’t, precisely, because that data appears not to be tracked by anyone. But the three every day data point is well supported, so we can confidently estimate that nearly 1100 women were killed in 2017.

Where are our marches? Where are our t-shirts? Movements? Cries of “no justice – no peace!”

These men who are killing their wives and girlfriends every day don’t even have to proffer the bullshit excuses cops offer for killing unarmed people of color: “I though he had a gun” – “I was worried for my safety.”

You know why they’re killing us, and getting away with it, cast as “lovesick teens” rather that “cold-blooded killers”?

Because just as surely as we live in a white supremacist culture, we live in a male supremacist culture. Only we don’t talk about it, because it’s not “woke,” and women who bring it up are “unhip” “hysterical” “over-sensitive” “ball-busting feminazis.”

I have another post about the concept of a male supremacist culture planned, so watch this space, but in the meantime I am fucking furious that THREE WOMEN EVERY DAY DIE AT MEN’S HANDS AND WE SHRUG OUR GODDAMN SHOULDERS.

You should be pissed, too.

Image from the UN’s Women project, and you really should follow the link and check out the full infographic, because it’s sobering.

Like what you read? Follow me on Twitter @MrsWhatsit1.

12 responses to “Three. Women. EVERY. Day.

  1. I’m glad you wrote this. – thank you. Violence against women is so pervasive in patriarchy/male supremacy, that so many just take it as a matter of ourse, a pitfall or consequence of being born female. It’s not and the sooner we address this, the better. And by addressing it, I mean fully addressing it without worrying about men’s feelings about the subject.

    I look forward to your article on male supremacy.

  2. The patriarchy loves to pit people against each other. To tell people it’s a zero sum game: you can care about women or about blacks, women or trans women, women or gays, but never both. Don’t feed into that. There was a Women’s March too, don’t forget. We should be angry about ALL of it.

  3. Excellent article!

  4. Syren Nagakyrie

    An homage I wrote exactly 3 years ago while working in DV services:

    I died today.
    There will be no outrage,
    no social media campaign,
    no protests in my name.
    But I died today.
    I didn’t even know he owned a gun
    maybe he bought it
    after I finally worked up the nerve to kick him out
    though I don’t know who would’ve sold it to him
    with the restraining order.
    Y’see, it was the looks in the eyes
    of my children
    that finally did it;
    That look scared me more than anything he ever done.
    So after the last beating,
    when I had to drive myself,
    with the two littlest ones in tow
    while the older ones slept in their beds,
    to the hospital
    black and bleeding,
    I got that piece of paper that they said would protect me
    (they even call it that – a protection order – y’know)
    and told him to get the hell out of my house.
    I set myself to makin’ things right –
    Got the kids to school every day
    before I went for my 10 hour shift
    at the truck stop diner down by the highway.
    But those headlights, are ones I didn’t expect to see.
    They pulled up behind me as I was leavin’ for the night;
    as I held up my hand to try to shield myself
    from the blinding high beams
    I heard the click
    and felt the force that sent me to the ground
    for the last time.
    I died today.
    But for me, there will be no outrage.
    My name could be any of five*:
    that’s the number of women
    Like me,
    but not like me,
    that died like me
    *based upon a 2014 report by the Violence Policy Center of women murdered by partners

  5. The way you separate trans from women really is on the borderline of being exclusionary. Or comes across that way. They are women as well. And are therefore part of this killing….tho, yes, it can be separated out perhaps as “special circumstances”.

  6. Thank you for writing this. Reblogged on

  7. Pingback: Three. Women. EVERY. Day. — hecatedemeter — very important read by hecatedemeter. – Tea for the Tillie Mom

  8. One of the homicide trials I had this past year concerned the murder of a young woman by her ex-boyfriend who cut her throat on a park trail in the middle of the night less than 30 days after being released from jail for assaulting her in front of the police who responded to the 911 call made by her roommate. There was no media coverage of the trial, of the verdict or of the life sentence he received. Just another day.

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